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Unlocking your true self: Cultivating personal virtues and skills (Part 3)

Unlocking your true self: Cultivating personal virtues and skills (Part 3)

Welcome to the third part of the blog post series, where you will explore these questions and more. If you need a refresher on the techniques to practice selected virtues, principles, or skills, revisit the first part for fantastic guidance. 


Let’s continue exploring the skills, virtues, and principles that help you unlock your true self…

Make the most out of each technique:

Now that you are fully focused, let’s start exploring and practicing…

Avoid judgements and setting expectations

Have you ever judged someone or come to an early conclusion, only to find out later that you were wrong? Perhaps you thought someone was rude and arrogant based on a quick impression, and later discovered the opposite was true. Or maybe you treated someone in a way you regretted, wishing you had acted differently.

Judgement involves attaching verbal or mental labels and concepts to things, people, situations and places. The quicker you do that, the more shallow you may feel. Judgement judges what it can’t understand because it can’t see the totality and therefore judges falsely. Anger must come from judgement. Perception follows judgement. Having judged, you therefore see what you would look upon. Remember, there are always two sides, and you may only see yours. For example, if someone says, “I remember how you failed last time you faced this challenge, so be careful this time,” – this contains an expectation of failure based on past experience. However, without judgement, the same person might say, “You have what it takes to turn this situation around, fix it and make progress.”

Over the years, it becomes natural to use past experiences as a reference point to judge present experiences and yourself. As you gain clarity and practice, you will realise that judgement only gives you false directions, leading you away from your goals, desires, and consciousness. You will understand that people are not defined by their behaviour, and judgement only hinders communication and worsens situations

Imagine seeing no past and having an open-mind unclouded by old concepts, prepared to look at what the present holds. This could lead you to a point where you can’t judge because you don’t know. It’s not that you don’t remember; rather, you don’t bring the past as an active principle into the present moment. 

Discover new perspectives through curiosity

Approach situations with curiosity to foster an attitude of exploration and discovery. Curiosity allows you to ask questions, seek information, and explore different perspectives, which helps you gain a deeper understanding of the situation at hand. This approach leads to more informed decision-making and reduces the tendency to jump to conclusions.

When faced with a situation, replace judgmental thoughts and concepts with open-ended questions such as “What,” “How,” “Why,” or “What are your thoughts about…?” This practice encourages dialogue and understanding, allowing you to uncover valuable insights and alternative viewpoints. Embracing curiosity enhances problem-solving skills and also improves your interactions with others by creating a more open and empathetic approach.

By being open-minded and willing to consider alternative possibilities, opinions, comments and new perspectives, you will discover unique opportunities, innovative solutions, and valuable connections that you may have never imagined.

Let go of judgements

If you notice yourself making judgments about yourself or others, pause and observe them without generating further concepts or self-criticism. Don’t suppress these judgments; instead, stop engaging with them and stop feeding them with your energy. By detaching yourself in this way, you will realise that these judgments hold no value and are wasting your precious time and energy. This shift in perspective can help you view the situation differently. You might ask yourself, “What if everything goes well this time and works out just fine?”

By catching and challenging your judgements through reframing, you shift your focus to a different perspective. This practice helps reduce the tendency to jump to conclusions.

Embracing this approach encourages you to respond with openness and optimism, fostering a more constructive and supportive attitude toward challenges.

Consistent practice of this technique will enhance your ability to stay aware, appreciate the present moment, and find enjoyment in what is good around you.

Stay present and respond with awareness

When something happens and you don’t react internally, you remain present and able to view the situation from a different angle. This allows you to take appropriate action without being overtaken by emotions like anger, stress, or anxiety. By staying detached, you separate the situation from the narrative you create around it. This detached viewpoint helps you handle the situation effectively, turn it to your benefit, and move forward.

There may be action outside, however, not internally. It’s not about accepting what happens, rather about responding appropriately to the present moment.

Imagine you’ve gone on a holiday you’ve been eagerly awaiting, only to find that the room you’ve been given isn’t what you paid for. In this situation, you have two options. You can explain to the receptionist what happened, sticking to the facts, and focus on finding a quick solution so you can start enjoying your long-awaited holiday as soon as possible. Alternatively, you could spend 10-15 minutes shouting at the receptionist, letting anger, frustration, and stress take over, before getting anywhere near a solution. This approach could drain your energy and waste a significant portion of your much-anticipated holiday in a disempowering state.

I am sure you recognise the difference between the two responses. The first approach involves focusing on the facts without spinning a narrative or getting caught up in the cycle of negative limiting thoughts and emotions.

The power of consciousness opens the way to the right action, which is always about finding solutions, creating, and contributingYou can gain a deeper understanding and clarity with the Essential Package which contains a session dedicated to this topic.

Make reflection a daily habit

Embracing reflection will greatly support you in staying present in all situations and taking the appropriate action. By taking just a few minutes each day to review your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you create amazing opportunities to learn from your actions, identify patterns, recognise areas for improvement, and celebrate your progress. These insights will help you make more informed decisions and move closer to your aspirations.

You can gain valuable insights and inspiration for reflection from your free session of the Essential Package, which offers step-by-step guidance.

Explore Meditation, Yoga Nidra, T’ai Chi, or Qigong

These are great ways to be fully present in the moment and pay attention to your or others’ thoughts and feelings without judgement. They will help you approach situations with curiosity and open-mind.

Starting with a guided version provides structured support to deepen your presence and awareness. To fully align with the content, consider watching and listening to the practice first, without allowing yourself to get too relaxed, so you can maximise the benefits. You can also listen to the meditation practice I recorded for you, or begin with the relaxation session.

You can dive into the Essential Package for comprehensive guidance on how these practices can support your journey and unlock their full potential.

The sooner you begin practicing, the sooner you will experience the profound impact of these techniques.

Be open-minded, curious and excited

Being curious, open-minded, and excited throughout your journey is something you want to master. These qualities will have a great impact on the quality of your life, and you will never want to revert to “your old self.” Besides this, they create opportunities to explore new things, ask questions, and seek knowledge by being open to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences, without judgement or bias.

Curiosity and open-mindedness encourage you to challenge assumptions, seek out alternative perspectives, foster creativity and innovation, think outside the box, and see obstacles and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. 

Cultivate openness and curiosity

Adopt the following approach and keep yourself open and curious:

  • When you don’t feel like following through, ask yourself:
    • What might happen if I push through and do X, even though I don’t feel like it right now?
    • What could happen if I succeed today by doing X, just as I have done before?
  • When exploring new opportunities, remember that each experience can either propel you forward or offer valuable insights.
  • When facing a decision between a known routine and a new approach, consider that the new way might bring you closer to your goals.
  • When facing something new or unknown, welcome it – you might uncover a remarkable experience.
  • When someone disagrees with you, listen carefully and ask questions to understand their perspective. You might discover new ideas or find a better approach.
  • When encountering failure or difficulty, see it as a chance to learn and grow.

This approach will help you break free from the constraints and limits of your “old habitual self” (which you may call ego, surface persona, layers and facades), supporting you towards your true self and aspirations.

Activate your brain’s potential

Challenging your brain strengthens its versatility, promotes neuroplasticity, enhances cognitive skills, supports patience and flexibility, builds confidence and resilience and enhances creativity and problem-solving.

Here are a few ideas you may want to try:

  • Use your non-dominant hand for everyday tasks like brushing your teeth, eating, writing, dressing, combing your hair or holding a cup.
  • Read books for pleasure and explore new genres and topics to broaden your perspective.
  • Learn a new skill or language. Challenge yourself with something unfamiliar to keep your brain engaged and adaptable.
  • Play strategy games, such as chess, which can enhance strategic thinking and problem-solving abilities.
  • Take up a new hobby or interest, whether it’s painting, gardening, or playing a musical instrument, to broaden your range of activities and skills.
  • Incorporate regular exercise into your routine and challenge yourself with new physical activities.
  • Explore new places and technologies. Keep discovering and learning.
  • Take a different route to work, if it is safe to do so. This can break the monotony and stimulate your brain by exposing it to novel experiences.
Reconnect with your playfulness and sense of wonder

You might have heard the phrase “find your inner child.” This concept is about rediscovering your innate sense of playfulness, fun, joy, excitement, honesty, and wonder. Children have a remarkable ability to live in the present moment, fully immersing themselves in their experiences without judgment or regret.

This is your invitation to learn how to live in the now, to experience each moment without judgment or regret. It is about being fully present, savouring the joy and happiness that life offers.

Think back to a time when you were so deeply absorbed in an activity that time seemed to fly by. Can you remember when something or someone left you amazed, caught up in the sheer beauty or wonder of it all? In that moment, there were no biases, no prejudices — just pure, unfiltered awe.

Here are a few ways to cultivate this child-like presence in your daily life:

  • Spend more time outdoors. Take a walk in the park, hike in the woods, or simply explore your own backyard. Notice the beauty around you: the sounds, sights, and sensations of nature.
  • Engage in creative activities that inspire you, like painting, drawing, writing, playing a musical instrument, or dancing. Let your creativity flow without restraint.
  • Practices like meditation, Yoga Nidra, T’ai Chi, or Qigong are wonderful ways to connect with your true essence, allowing you to experience spaciousness and pure consciousness. You can also listen to the meditation practice I recorded for you, or begin with the relaxation session. You can dive deeper into these practices with the Essential Package.

Remember, this is about embracing valuable child-like qualities, not about being childish. Being child-like means retaining these positive traits of imagination, enthusiasm, creativity, playfulness, honesty, wonder, and curiosity, while being childish suggests a lack of maturity and self-control.

Embrace your inner child and allow these qualities to enrich your life with joy and wonder.

Leverage the potential of mistakes

Reframe how you perceive failures and mistakes by viewing them as stepping stones toward your goals. Embracing these moments as opportunities will infuse your life with renewed energy and motivation. Mistakes are a natural and essential part of the journey, helping you build resilience and uncover valuable insights along the way.

For deeper understanding and clarity on facing challenges, consider exploring the Essential Package. It features a dedicated session designed to guide you through this approach.

Which personal virtue or skill will you cultivate first, and what steps will you take to begin integrating it into your life?

I would love to hear about your experiences with the techniques or versions you found most effective. If you have discovered any other useful tools not mentioned here, please share them. Your insights could be incorporated into future blog posts, helping to empower, inspire, and motivate others on their journey.







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